Goldshire inn (Moon Guard US)/Legends How It Began

This is a silly article This article is silly. Coming from a source other than the computer games, trading card game, novels, RPG, or manga, its content is not part of official Warcraft lore, but nevertheless has become part of the culture belonging to the World of Warcraft community.

Legends How it Began

Long ago, Goldshire was a grand inn where role-players thrived in. They aided their brethren in combat against the incoming Horde raids that dare threaten their inn. At night they drank telling stories around the fire.

But they were completely unaware of what was to come.

One day, back when Onyxia still was Lady Prestor and planning behind Stormwind's back, she decided to strike the last place in the king's kingdom that had not been affected with problems yet; Elwynn Forest, most notably Goldshire. She learned of a corrupter Game Master who had anger set at Blizzard who played a night elf that wore a battered jungle hat, vest and wore a staff on his back. Onyxia offered him some way to corrupt Blizzard's reputation by doing with him what would be the server's first ERP in the Lakehouse. Shortly after, he hid his staff which had this strange aura around it blessed by Onxyia under the Lakehouse. The night elf GM mysteriously vanished afterwards. Soon afterwards, the staff's aura radiated across all the realms, 4chan, and all over the internet to all the trolls, pixel fappers, and raging nerds making them drawn to go to Moonguard.

They all stood outside Goldshire, all the stereotypical humans: Bald wearing no shirts, ready to swarm in along with the night elf's ready to party. The role-players looked out the windows, er RP'd looking out, wondered what was going on and why they wore no shirt. And then in an instant, they all swarmed in, dancing on the tables, doing light knows what in the basement and in the bedrooms, and random hordies ((Mainly blood elves)) ganking and doing the same in the backroom of the upstairs. Players also started to jump in the fires littering their corpses around the inn.

The surviving role-players fled to Stormwind looknig back and mourning of what was once their home of adventures.

Then Wrath came and the 58 Dks went to ERP and dance and gank lower lvl horde too lazy to lvl any higher while dueling lower lvls who crossed them. When many nerds died or logged off, many took their place. Goldshire undoubtedly had a curse which could not be lifted.

Then you look at the Lakehouse. Inside, there are children upstairs in the bedroom said to be where the night elf did ERP in. The children never move. Some adventurers claim they hear a banshee wail or C'thun's voice when they walk into the dark room. Some say Sargeras is sealed under the house or even did some ERP himself in it, but those rumors are most likely false.

Legend has it that the Night elf with the jungle hat will return to become the leader of Goldshire, holding his staff high making all the desperate nerds kneel down to him.

The situation will be turned into a raid, when the night elf does return. Varian will stand holding a conversation with other city leaders about the uprising in Northshire. Some Priest claiming hes the "Prophet of the One" has took over Northshire with nerdy followers holding questers and role-player's hostage. He is said to come from 4chan and got some mystic powers from the staff the Night Elf holds.

Meanwhile Horde negotiate about their soldiers lost in Goldshire and turned into "One of them" as well. The Horde and the Alliance believe that the Night elf will lead the forces of Goldshire to take over all of the server with infesting ERP in city districts and even questing areas.

It is said the Night elf will crown his queen: A 58 Night elf Death Knight with flowing red hair and has a hell of a attitude. The raid begins outside Northshire gates, where heroes fight down elites in lvl 1 gear towards the top of the Abbey's tower. After a big strategy fighting off the shadow priest, he yells that he will be risen again under his master's will.

The raid picture is delicate artwork of Goldshire inn, trees around it and the Blacksmith across. Your raid starts to move down to Goldshire itself. On the way your raid encounters a bunch of lvl 8 catform druids and it's leader Rigsby, a good pvper but a serious furry, he packs a punch with his random helpers.

Once past the crazy cats, you encounter the ones who guards Goldshire's entrance, a bunch of gloating duelers. The leader of them seems to be a Paladin, your second/third boss. You know the fight, annoying bubbles, healz and help by other duelers.

Once your past him and his "friends" your raid goes inside the inn itself where you fight down mobs and mobs of nerds herping and derping in your face making you driven to near insanity but you and your raid hold it together. If your lucky you will encounter a rare spawn of Fuatjimmy sleeping on one of the tables.

You make it into the basement when you encounter the lvl 58 Night elf Deathknight waiting to be crowned as queen. Don't ask why shes in the basement. ((I mean don't literally ask cause even I don't know, its Goldshire, nuff said.)) Once you slay her and her follower, your raid triumphantly heads upstairs towards the Horde room.

There you see a room filled with Blood elf Deathknights and Paladins ready to take you down. Their leader: A Tauren Druid, formerly known to be a role-player who tried to convince the soldiers here to return back to Orgrimmar but sadly he too lost his sanity in the depths of Goldshire. After a long long battle with him, your raid feels a rumble coming from the lakehouse. " Heroes and role-players! Come here if you wish to succumb to us, I have received word that my future queen is dead, as punishment, total enslavement to 4chan and Goldshire!'

Your raid doesn't care because they are too focused on epic lewt to worry about penalty. You all make it to the lakehouse to fight evil leatherworkers, Jason Mathers, and demonic children to finally make it upstairs. The Night elf is guarded by Draenei table dancers. When you fight through them, you finally fight the Night elf who weilds the [Pimp Staff of Goldshire].

After a while he teleports to the center of Goldshire for the final battle to begin. Your raid returns to the inn for the fight. After a long epic battle with your group shouting random leeroy jenkins and Thunderfury jokes, the night elf falls over. "Fools, my death will cause even more destruction since these nerds have no future ruler. So that means you all just lost The Game."

Your raid now notices the inn was torn to shreds during the fight, and all the nerds who spread chaos there, are no longer here.

They are in Stormwind.

People who remember the legend say that its like the Lich King raid, when their leader dies all the nerds spread to chaos around the server, not just the server, but EVERY server. Since the staff attracted all the nerds to Warcraft, and now the leader and inn is gone, that means the nerds will stay in Warcraft and cause MAJOR MAJOR havoc across the entire game until Blizzard goes out of business.

The person in the raid says that one raid member will have have to take the staff and become the new leader of Goldshire. A random guy walks in offering to do it. Now your raid must go to the resting place for the new leader to place this staff. But where is the entrance you might ask? Well you know those bundle of wood by the Lakehouse? Lift those up and you find the hole which leads under into caverns until you reach the magma parts of the world, possibly a cavern that leads into Blackrock mountain.

Your raid must hurry because Stormwind is under attack by nerds and Ogrimmar is surrounded by armies of 58 dks and nerds.

After a long long journey through the caverns, you reach the boy where he put the staff. The person who becomes the new leader of Goldshire must rest the staff in there himself. Then all of a sudden you hear a rumble, the lakehouse children that scretly followed your raid, stand watching you as a dark figure looms behind them. Sargeras's shade. A random player yells out: "So that rumor was true!" The "New Leader" quickly puts the staff in the box and vanishes like the Night Elf, as the Dark figure vanishes as well and the lakehouse children fade away. ((Despawn))

Your raid did it. The inn respawns, all the nerds return into the inn. All chaos wrapped tight in that inn. Your raid party mourns your member who gave his sanity/life to seal the staff... Possibly rolling a new toon afterwards. All is well in Moonguard... Except of course Elwynn.