This article is about the former Community MVP. For the magnataur boss in Utgarde Pinnacle, see Gortok Palehoof.

Las known game info as of 06/17/2009 09:27:30 PM UTC:


  • In late 2010, Palehoof posted on the official forums that he was quitting WoW, but the post was deleted. Fortunately, someone at MMO Champion forums kept a copy and posted it there:[1]
I really like that phrasing. And it is apt for this post. This will be my last post, as my internet obsessions have really been Beyond The Pale of all conduct:
I would like to thank the internet for the endless supply of naive young women I can chat with and have phone sex with--and other good stuff. Sometimes they sent me their underwear in mail at my office.
I played computer games at work, called and emailed my girlfriends, and got fired last year. But I did get away with it for about 7 years, all while professing my undying love for my long-term girlfriend, then fiance, and now wife. Cowards are cheaters and I am both of those things in my personal life. I did not have the courage to man up and let Mrs Hoof see the choice she was making to marry me. Before and after we married, I carried on all sorts of emotional secret relationships she did not know about. If I had bothered to be honest, she never would have married me, and would not have to be a part of the world I have created for myself. As it happens, I have destroyed the only thing of real importance to me and I will be rewarded with this public outing and a very sad and lonely existence henceforth.
Of course, you all worship me for my RP chops, and I playact at home and away. I am a practiced liar, and no one can doubt my sincerity if I should have it so. I loved being King of all the internet losers and freaks while it lasted, but if I'm going to work things out with my wife, this is the beginning of my public humiliation. Please help me by making this a popular post as long as it stays up.
Oh, yes--a special shout out to one of the easy ladies, -removed- (aka -removed-, from -removed---another fine RPG). She too is married, and her husband needs to know about this too I think, poor -removed-, the cuckold. Last November she offered to send me another "Christmas Card full of love?", and I responded:
November 15, 2010 at 12:19am "Oh, I don't know if that'd be right. I no longer take mail at the one address you had for me, and I shouldn't be receiving packages like that anymore, no matter how wicked a fellow I may be!
I hope things are going well for you and yours, though? Your message reminded me it's been too long since we corresponded. Let us rectify that shortcoming posthaste!"
-removed- I was not being honest, as usual. I no longer take mail at the one address you had for me because I go fired last July and was unemployed in November. I am a 37-year old married man with gray hair and an unremarkable physique, and I need to grow up and stop pretending I can be 2 or even 3 other people at the same time. I also need to stop having "friendships" with every young woman who allows it and pretending that I don't open up to any woman who will have me. I am not so closed and mysterious as long as you are a female under 30, but preferably under 25. I hope all of you can use this cautionary tale of the great crash and public burning of Palehoof. I really thought I was famous, stroking my ego (and my "magic rooster") to the max. I had a great turn on the Blizzard stage, and I am sorry I am not the person I make myself out to be--well, sorry that I've been caught. To that end, RP is real. Everything that goes on is taking place in the real world. You can't carry on fake married and pop-up chat erotic talk without affecting reality. In closing, here is a last taste of my prose, my oh so precious turn of phrase, and a perfect example of how to keep something going with the ladies:
"Well. I answered my question. She's still out there. And I'm really glad that you are. I'm gladder still that you're happy. I hope that you always are. And I hope you always feel free to reach out? Just for a moment. We already travelled so much ground, Holly. There's no need to re-travel it. But thank you, for everything. What I know of people, I learned from preying on them. What I know of love, I learned from you. And the one is so much more worthy of the knowing."
...and so forth


  1. ^ volescue 2011-02-20. #6 - Palehoof's quit post on WoW General Forum. MMO Champion World of Warcraft - General Discussions forum.

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